Grateful

"It is so hard when sincere prayer about something you desire very much is not answered the way you want. It is difficult to understand why your exercise of deep and sincere faith from an obedient life does not grant the desired result. The Savior taught, “Whatsoever ye ask the Father in my name it shall be given unto you, that is expedient for you.” At times it is difficult to recognize what is best or expedient for you over time. Your life will be easier when you accept that what God does in your life is for your eternal good."

Richard G. Scott, Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer

I've been thinking a lot lately about how sometimes our disappointments can ultimately be our greatest blessings. Even when we want something SO badly, we don't always get it. It's so hard to understand why, when we feel like we've put in the effort and we should be rewarded. But like Elder Scott said, your life is easier when you accept that God knows more of what you need than you do.

Example 1: When I first tried out to be an Anatomy TA, I wanted it more than I care to admit. I honestly made myself sick over it, because I wanted it so so badly. And not only that, I had worked for it. I knew what I wanted: I wanted to be a TA. But, the interview came and went and I didn't get it. I was devastated. Seriously crushed. My confidence was shattered. I had put the effort in and had gotten nothing in return. Then, that next semester was the hardest I had yet experienced. I was taking way too many ridiculous classes at the same time, like Exercise Physiology, Kinesiology and Biomechanics, and Chemistry just to name a few (just another testament to my masochism). It was also the semester that I broke my foot and had to have surgery. Looking back on it, being an Anatomy TA that semester would have put me over the top. It would have been a commitment of 8 more hours a week that I didn't have. And I can't even imagine trying to get around the lab and trying to teach on crutches or with my really attractive TLC (the Turning Leg Caddy :). It would not have been anywhere near as positive an experience as I had when I actually did become a TA. Looking back, I realize that it really was a blessing in disguise.

Example 2: I'm leaving on a study abroad to the South Pacific in 25 days. We're going first to Australia then to New Zealand and finally to Fiji. There is a small group that is going to Tonga and Samoa when we finish in Fiji. I really wanted to go with them. It only cost about $800 more for a chance to go to two more countries. Knowing the travel junkie that I am, I was set on going with them. The only problem was, I couldn't get the money in time. My loan didn't go through in time, and I certainly didn't have the money in my bank account to afford it when they were buying their tickets. So I couldn't go. I was really bummed about it. Even now I would still love for the opportunity to go, but I see now that my inability to purchase the tickets was God's way of looking out for me. You see, I get back from my study abroad on August 13. Fall semester at Georgetown starts on August 30. So I have 17 days to come home, pack up all of my stuff, say goodbye, move to the other side of the country, and get settled in before school starts. BUT, if I had gone to Tonga and Samoa like I wanted, I wouldn't get back until August 19, leaving myself only 11 days to do all of that. Would it have been possible? Yes. But it also would have greatly increased my stress and severely limited the amount of time I could spend with family and friends before I left. So really, just another blessing in disguise.

Basically, I'm just grateful that life doesn't always go according to my plan because, let's be honest, my plans aren't always the greatest. And though it's hard to say it at the time, I am grateful for my disappointments.